You Don’t Have To Wait Until Halloween To Be Something

wait for it...

When you’re young you’re often asked the question, “What do you want to be [when you grow up]?”  Once you reach a certain age the question becomes, “What do you do [for a living]?” 

This slight change in wording can alter your perception of everything, including yourself.  Somewhere along the line, the sense of passion, personality, and possibility has a tendency to fade away.  The original question that we often hear as youngsters, is centered around “us,” you and I as individuals.  It hints at a future in which you will “be” something, stand for something, and act purposefully.  The second question lacks the personality component that the first contains.  It hints at an existence where tasks are performed to sustain oneself and fails to acknowledge the core values driving those actions. 

Some people might say something to the contrary, proposing that doing is more important than being, by saying, “aren’t actions more important than words, and don’t your actions define who you are?”  I would say that yes, your actions are important.  They do define you in a sense; more precisely, they define the “you” that you become.  Our actions, though, are driven by who we are, which includes who we want to be.  Our actions are things that follow and result from those initial values and ideas.    

So obviously, who we “are” is important.

So to maintain that meaningful perception of ourselves and others I propose a few things:

• Think of yourself first as a collection of values, and meaningful ideas and then secondly as the things you do as a result

• Respond to inquiries about what you do by talking about who you are (your past, your interests, key personality traits, values, wants etc.) and then lead into the things you do (your profession, roles, functions, activities)

•  This doesn’t have to be a long drawn out story either

• Frame questions to others with the word “being” in mind; rather than asking, “what do you do?” which is very limiting, you can say, “tell me about yourself,” which will reveal qualities, characteristics, and reasons behind a person’s actions

“Steve, what do you do?”

(I could give a dull answer and then follow up with more information or…)

“Well, I really love working with people and enjoy being part of a creative process.  I have a strong interest in business, especially the strategies used to reach customers.  I am Assistant Account Executive at The Verdi Group, a marketing firm that helps clients gain strong customer and prospect response through the implementation of unique and powerful solutions.  I coordinate projects for clients, ensuring their timely, cost effective, and quality completion and successful implementation.” 

A couple of sentences at the beginning of the response gives some insight into who I am and why I am doing what I do. 

Using this perspective might even lead you to realize that what you are doing doesn't parallel who you are or who you want to be.    

Be something!

Since Halloween is right around the corner I have been hard at work brainstorming what I will be.  I’m going as some type of “duo” with my friend.  I thought I would share some of the best ideas:

• One of us with a t-shirt reading, “Legen,” the other, “Dary”

• One of us with a t-shirt reading, “Somebody, that you used to know,” and the other, “Somebody, that you’ll call… maybe”

• Prince William (dressed very preppy) and Prince Harry (no clothes needed!)

• Hockey player and coach with locks around our necks (NHL Lockout)

• Scientist and Scientologist

• iPhone 4S and iPhone 5 (both dressed in white, but one slightly taller than the other)

BOOm!

Diamonds Are Not Forever

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Do you feel that chill?  If you are one of my many readers hailing from the tropics, I do not mean the breeze flowing from the vent in your air-conditioned dwelling.  I am of course referring to the actual climate change occurring in the North-Eastern United States.  Winter is already creeping in on the fall, which has really only just arrived.  Sadly, this means that summer has passed.  It couldn't last forever, just like everything else.

The summer is always a wonderful season; it’s warm, bright, and full of adventure.  This year’s was even more of a treat thanks to all of the excitement of the 2012 Summer Olympic Games held in London.  In my opinion, the greatest moment of the games, beyond the games, would have to be the opening ceremony.  There are two main reasons.  First off, her majesty (is that really necessary when the next part of your title is “Queen”…) Queen Elizabeth II was escorted to the Olympic Games, via helicopter ride and then an adrenaline-fueled parachute jump, by none other than James Bond (cue the 007 spy theme).  Secondly, Sir Paul McCartney concluded the ceremony beautifully and powerfully with the Beatles’ hit “Hey Jude.”

The other day I was reminded of those two iconic components of British pop culture, James Bond and The Beatles.  October 5, 2012 marked the fiftieth anniversary of the release of the first James Bond film, Dr. No, and the Beatles’ debut single “Love Me Do.”  I was stunned to hear this very interesting and hard-to-believe fact.  Moments later my attention was grabbed by a trailer for the newest James Bond film, Skyfall.  My mind immediately began to wander and recall the fond memories of the countless 007 movies I have seen in the past.  My mind raced with characters, actors, gadgets, locales, and film titles.  Bond, James Bond, Connery, Brosnan, Carmen Electra, Pussy Galore, Aston Martin, grapple gun, jetpack, ski pole gun, Prague, Venice, the Bahamas, Goldfinger, The World Is Not Enough, From Russia With Love, Diamonds Are Forever.  Who doesn't love James Bond!? 

A few days after this surge in spy-related thought, the title Diamonds Are Forever still lingered.  I thought about that phrase for a while.  The words “diamond” and “forever” have been used together before.  The line, “A Diamond is Forever” was created in the 1950s by an advertising copy-writer working on the De Beers account.  It is definitely one of the most impactful and well-known tag lines in advertising history.  In my opinion, it perfectly and poetically represents the enduring physical characteristics of, and strong emotional bond (advertising at its best) created by a diamond. 

It is great copy-writing, but haven’t you ever heard of someone losing their diamond ring, or having a change of heart?  Boom!  Nothing is forever, not even a diamond.

                                          

Yes, some things last longer than others, but in the end nothing will last forever.  This includes things both material and immaterial.  The immaterial part includes ideas, emotions, and feelings.  Some might say that some very enduring things do exist; yes they do, but are they ever completely unchanged?  Change is something that always finds its way into life.  Sometimes it is positive change, sometimes it is negative change, and perhaps even neutral other times.  It is part of the natural ebb and flow.    

If you choose to take this view, you can enjoy more of life and worry about a lot less.

Diagnosis: Fuel-Pump Disorder

Last week I was feeling great (more than usual), and it seemed as though everything was going right.  I hadn't a worry in sight.  Then my car wouldn't start.  I was car-less from Friday at 2:00 p.m. to Tuesday at 5:00 p.m. as the mechanic replaced the fuel pump and then charged handsomely for it.  This problem came without warning and caused some disruption in my schedule.  I should have known all the good feelings couldn't last for long before something like this happened. 

I felt upset and depressed as Friday evening rolled around and I was sort of stranded; one unsuccessful turn of a key and there I was with a big 4,000 lb. problem in front of me.  My best bud was planning to visit that night, but I attempted to preempt the get-together because of a change in mood (I had better things to do like sulk over my misfortune).  Before my friend could respond to my negative expression, I retracted my previous statement and labeled it a lapse in judgment.  I quickly replied with something to the effect of, “scratch that, can’t wait to see you bud; tonight will be legendary.”  He showed up, and we had a blast!  I may not have forgotten about the car issue, but it sure didn't matter as much.

Experiencing a steady period of good fortune, then a low point, and then a high point soon after, made me realize something.  Diamonds are not forever— favorable situations cannot last as long as you’d like, but on the other hand troublesome or adverse periods do not last as long as you fear they might.

Understanding the transitory nature of life teaches us two lessons: 

1.  Embrace the good things, wholeheartedly, while they last.  Be grateful for your health and everything else you have, and cherish the people that are close to you.  Don’t take anything for granted.

2.  Don’t dwell on difficulties, negativities, or losses.  Their effects cannot last forever, especially if you work to overcome them.  As the famous saying goes, “this too shall pass.”

Bam.

The Joy of Competition

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What up!  In the zone right here!

This is the 21^st blog post I have written (I am patting myself on the back).  I had planned on the 21^st post to address and explain 21 Orchard, but given the ever-changing nature of the world (I sound so philosophical) the plans changed and that post will have to wait.  The change happened for a good reason though.

Saturday’s events were LEGEN… wait for it, I’ve obviously been watching way too much How I Met Your Mother… DARY!  Yes, like Barney I am very liberal with the use of the term “legendary,” but this account is still worth sharing.  The story begins with a flashback to this past Tuesday.  After a short a period of absence from the gym I went to pump some iron that night.  I did my usual chest and triceps workout, which is pretty exhausting and enough to make me want to devour a 30-gram protein bar in under a minute.  When I was finished, I didn’t leave, and I didn’t have the chocolaty peanut buttery bar in my hand ready for annihilation.  I wasn’t completely finished.  When I first registered at this YMCA I saw that there were a variety of exercise classes held each day that I had access to as a member (can you say VIP?).   This Tuesday I figured I would buckle down and participate in the core-workout class right after weight lifting.  I consider myself to be pretty athletic and felt prepared for this 25-minute session.  In short, it was definitely a workout and more than I expected.  I was using muscles that I haven’t probably ever used, and the rest periods were, well, there were none.  I felt great afterwards though!  It was an intense trip to the gym.  I woke up the next morning, but probably shouldn’t have.  For the next three days I was sorer than I have been in ages.  It felt like Ivan Drago had used my midsection as a punching bag for a half hour straight.  I know why my muscles were sore, but why were my ribs!?  Anyway, it was very uncomfortable, and during those days all I wanted to do was lay down (and watch How I Met Your Mother).

While I was in this state of recovery I was worried.  What was I worried about?  I felt like I wasn’t going to be able to compete in the 5K race that I had signed up for, which was to be held in a few short days.  I had dropped $20.00 for the race which would be my first of the kind.  I didn’t want the money to be lost, and I had been so excited to compete.  I enjoy going for runs, and I figured the race could be a lot of fun.  Also, it had been a while since I had been a part of a competition.  Fantasy football is definitely competitive, but it doesn’t have that physicality I need!  On Friday night I knew that there would be a game-time decision for this early-morning 5K.  I came home from work, ate, and went to bed early (my aching body needed only two things: protein and sleep).  I’d mention the exact time I hit the hay, but then I might be likened to a 70 year-old man; I will not stand for that!

I woke up on Saturday with enough time to make my decision.  Bam!  It was made!  I was doing this thing.  I woke up feeling refreshed, and ready to conquer the world.  I made it to the race location, received my number, and gathered with the rest of the runners.  I was there to compete and despite the sight of some very conditioned athletes, I was still pumped and ready to perform. 

I had my back-up iPod in hand, because my go-to iPod had died a few weeks back.  The aging iPod Mini in my grasp was an unreliable piece of audio equipment, but I was hoping it could last the race (more incentive to run fast).  Blondie’s Heart of Glass  was all queued up (I’m an 80s music fan) and ready to send some motivating vibes through my ears, but the iPod battery shut down immediately and the screen turned darker than night.  Seconds later the signal was given to start the race.  I started running, and I kept hold to the ounces of electrical circuitry that once brought me musical pleasure, but now was nothing more than a piece of junk weighing me down.

After 15 seconds I was in third place overall!  I told myself to start strong and feel the pace of the front-runners.  They were fast indeed!  I was soon passed by some sweaty bodies (so much for third), but after a while I felt like I was in a good position and moving at a decent pace.  The occasional runner passed me as I continued forward.  There were a lot of hills and I was definitely feeling it in my legs and lungs.  I still had the iPod in my hand and I wanted to get rid of it.  As I passed one of the volunteers on the road I lofted the mp3 player to him and said, between breaths, “You can have it!”  He looked at me strangely, but caught it and gave a nod of understanding.  Bam!  The worthless iPod was gone.  I would be able to sprint ahead feeling lighter than ever right?  In a dream world, yes.  In the real world, no.  It was nice having my hands free, but that didn’t mean much for the rest of my body.  There was a lot of road ahead and I had to maintain my pace.  I tucked the headphone jack into my waistband (they're decent headphones) and carried on.    

As I continued up and down the route (mostly up considering the long hills) I saw spectators on the side of the road.  They made positive and inspirational comments and held out cups of water for the runners!  I thought to myself, “This is awesome. I’ve only seen this kind of stuff on television.”  I wasn’t thirsty and wasn’t over heated, but I grabbed a cup of water and threw it back in my face and neck like a seasoned veteran.  I couldn’t pass it up.  I had to immerse myself in the experience.

After that brief splash of amusement, I realized there was still about a mile left.  After that “checkpoint” where I knew the distance, I was starting to struggle.  I asked two people on the side of the road how far the finish line was, but they apparently had no clue.  A handful of minutes passed and I was wondering how much longer I could hold out.  Then, I heard someone off to the right say, “Keep it up!  Only a hundred yards left.”  At that moment I thought to myself, “Whew!  Let’s finish this baby strong!”  I looked ahead, and I could see the finish line.  There were two men ahead of me, within striking distance!  I kicked it into sprint mode (as close to it as possible) and I saw the distance between myself and the other two runners lessen.  I was going to do it!  I had the adrenaline pumping and I managed to pass both of them.  I leaned forward as I crossed the finish line (a little dramatic in hindsight) and was elated to have had such a strong and successful push at the end.  I was done. 

I spent some time regaining my breath and took a seat on a curb.  A woman came up to me shortly after and said, “You’re just the man I’m looking for.  What’s your name?”  That happens to me all the time with random women (I wish).  Anyway!  Me.  Picture.  Newspaper.  Bam!  I don’t consider myself to be photogenic, but something about my final effort to the finish caught this woman’s eye, and she snapped the shot featured above.    

A little later I checked the finish times, and although a lot of individuals finished before me I placed 1^st in my age group (19-24)!  Success!  A few days prior I was struggling to straighten my torso, but in this moment I was a champ.              

The awards ceremony took place about an hour later.  I was so hungry at that point.  Much to my surprise, I had won not only a blue ribbon but a $10.00 gift certificate to a restaurant as well.  It happened to be a restaurant right near my apartment that I had wanted to try.  That was convenient.  The gyro I ended up having definitely hit the spot.

All in all it was a wonderful day.  I had an awesome experience, met some great people before and after the race, and gained some motivation to continue pushing my physical limits and enter more races and competitions in general.   

Compete!  It gives you a shot at winning, which is always a great feeling, and even if you don’t win, the experience is usually thrilling and filled with fun.  If you find yourself in a similar position that I did, uncertain about competing because of some reason (soreness), think about the wise words coined by some unknown advertising copywriter working for Nike and “just do it.”

Bam!

Yo, I'm 80

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Making a strong declaration with a confident tone is an admirable and respectable action that isn’t done that frequently.  It extends beyond the words spoken and displays the strong conviction and belief an individual has in an idea and in themselves.  How often have you heard someone inflect their voice at the end of their speech indicating uncertainty?  I know that the latter happens far more often (see what I did there?).  So what leads people to this confident state of being where a statement can be made without feeling an ounce of doubt?

I believe that having a positive attitude regarding yourself and your position in life, whatever it may be, leads to a more confident disposition, more fulfilling experiences, and a generally happier time on this earth.  If you can embrace who you are, where you came from, and what you stand for then everything else appears to be much clearer.  It becomes easier to take risks confidently and disregard the consequences of failure.

This idea sort of revealed itself to me a few days ago at a public library.  I am currently without an internet connection in my new apartment, and so I have been venturing the hundred steps or so to the local library (great location, I know) nearly every day.  While I was using far more than my fair share of bandwidth (I have yet to obtain my library card), I noticed something.  An elderly gentleman gingerly made his way through the stacks and carefully took a seat near the Large Print shelf.  What caught my attention was the baseball cap he had on.  It was plain gray except for the baby blue lettering on the front, above the brim.  It read, “Yo, I’m 80.”

I was excited in an instant.  Here was someone that just made an incredible first impression on me by doing nothing more than feature a strong idea on his attire.  As soon as I read the enlivening expression I imagined this man saying it to someone.  I imagined him saying it as though he were brushing off some insignificant mishap, justifying his knowledge and wisdom, or just introducing himself (after an unexpected, hip handshake) and making a strong impression.  In any instance, the statement sends the message that this guy knows who he is, and he is proud of it (maybe even cocky…).

Some people might say a confident move is made when you believe what you say or do.  I realized that a true confident move occurs when you say or do what you believe.  This guy believed he and his age were awesome and he expressed it.  Once you understand yourself and acknowledge your strengths and accept your shortcomings (which you might soon turn into strengths) and take a positive view of them, you’ll know and believe yourself.  Everything you do from that point will exude confidence because it comes from the internal belief.

Who are you?  Figure it out and believe it!  Be bold!

Yo, I’m 22!

Bam.

The Opposition Network: Your Key To Achievement

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Have you ever accomplished something that required you to put forth great amounts of effort?  I’m sure you have.  Have you ever seen someone else post-triumph?  I’m sure you have seen that.  In the moments after achievement one can look back at the road to victory.  I’m sure you have thought about how you made it to that winning moment, or have seen a glimpse of another’s path to success. 

The picture that comes to mind is someone accepting an award or being commemorated.  Traditionally a few words are offered by the recipient of the recognition.  These are most often words of thanks that are directed toward teammates, mentors, soul mates, coaches, family, friends, co-workers or other members of their support network.  These are people that have helped to bring the individual to new heights by providing emotional strength, bestowing knowledge, offering guidance, collaborating, motivating, inspiring, and caring. 

I believe this network is very important in aiding an individual’s pursuits, but I believe that a different network creates a far superior desire and motivation for success. 

I like to call the other group the opposition network.

The opposition network is filled with naysayers, fierce competitors, disapproving individuals, and those dishing out the cold hard truth.  It is a network that mines deep within your soul and starts a fire that emits sparks of doubt, pain, punishment and fear that reach every part of your being.  In response to this the body overpowers the flames and infuses elements of desire, meaning, drive, purpose and justice.    

Although it is powerful, the support network will not allow you to reach your full potential.  I see the support network as being a set of individuals with positive outlooks; these outlooks can delude them and the individual they are supporting.  There seems to be a lack of truth and reality in this network.  That is where the opposition network comes in.

The opposition network completes the picture, offering a clear view.  It enhances purpose and motivation.  It gives you someone to prove wrong, others to compete against and critics to learn from.  It is a relentless force that can push you to the limits and in turn reach greatness. 

In an effort to build this network, which I highly suggest considering the benefits, try to:

Pinpoint Competitors

A competitor will keep you on your toes, offer you a way to measure yourself, and push you to perform at your best.  This competition can range from a friendly contest to an intense rivalry in which there is a single focus on outdoing the other in a quest to be number one.

Find The Naysayers

Listen closely to find those around you that either do not believe in you or believe in what you are pursuing.  Use this as motivation to show them you CAN and to prove the worthiness of your pursuits.

Seek The Truth

In an effort to develop, you need to be aware of your strengths and weaknesses.  You need to know the ins and outs of your efforts and the variables present in your environment.  Find the people that will offer you the truth without regard for your feelings.  The raw information will be the feedback necessary to focus your attention on areas that need improvement. 

Finding the optimum balance between your support and opposition will give you the best chance for success.  

Use the opposition!

Problems Make The World Go Round

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People have needs.

If you’re having trouble in the love department then you may have just made a very narrow conclusion regarding that last statement.  Seriously though, people have a wide variety of needs; these needs must be met in order for quality lives to be led.  Maslow’s hierarchy is a perfect outline of the tangible and intangible needs that individuals have.

When needs, or even wants, are not met, problems arise.  There has to be effort exerted to address these problems. 

Problems can be big or small (#firstworldproblems).  Only having creamy peanut butter in the house when you’re craving crunchy peanut butter is still a problem even if just slightly.  More difficult problems include relationship trouble, financial hardships and health and safety issues.  

For each problem there is a solution, or at least a pursuit of a solution.

For all the negatives that problems bring I think there are some important positives as well. 

One positive is the fact that problems provide purpose (a lot of alliteration going on right there).  When a problem arises, action has to be taken to solve it.  Essentially they give us things to do.  What would we do if there was nothing to do (Paradox)?  What would we do if there were no problems?  Think of it this way.  Firefighters fight fire, but if there ceased to be any fires they would have nothing to do.

Think of any profession and it is tied to solving a problem stemming from some need.  A doctor solves problems related to illness and injury because people have a need to be healthy.  An advertising executive creatively promotes products and services for particular companies which seek to fulfill some need for their customers.   

Problems that arise for you may give you purpose to solve them.  Your problems may give others purpose as well, and vice versa. 

When you look at the world this way, as a constant stream of problems and solutions of various magnitudes, things seem to make a little more sense. 

A second positive is the development that occurs when you face and respond to troubles.  Solving problems helps you grow and learn; it shapes you. 

The next time you face a problem just remember that it is a piece to the puzzle of life and contributes to the functioning of the world.  Embrace it, and solve it!

Boom!

What You Need To Know About Your Eyes

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Eyes are everywhere.  There are two of them atop us humans.  They somehow turn light into electro-chemical signals (I’m no scientist) that are interpreted by our brain to give us vision.  They allow us to see.  Sight is very valuable and it’s important to remember a few things about it (I’ll get to those later). 

This morning I had an eye exam at 8:15 AM.  I am a morning person (crazy I know, and I don’t drink coffee either) and decided that I wanted to schedule the appointment early in the day; I was surprised and delighted to hear that the office opens at 7:00 AM (yes, they’re crazy too).

I do look pretty handsome in my glasses, but I prefer contacts and needed an eye exam in order to purchase another supply of them.  After about twenty minutes of “Qs,” “Bs,” “Cs,” and “Ss” in the patients’ leather throne I was ready to go home with my brand new prescription.  Just as I was ready to slide out of the chair, I was offered the option of pupil dilation which would allow the doctor to most effectively inspect my eyes for any problems.  I thought about it for a moment, and then agreed.  A little discomfort in order to maintain good health is definitely worth it. 

After the doctor surveyed my eyes I was free to go.  There were no problems.  As I was leaving, the doctor said, “Did you bring sunglasses?”  I replied, “Why? Do I need them.”  He answered, “You might. You might.”  As he said that he pulled a rolled up piece of dark plastic out of what appeared to be a film canister (I thought Kodak learned their lesson already).  He handed me a pair of disposable sunglasses that didn’t have temple arms!  They just unroll and stick to your face. 

As I walked outside the sun was a little overbearing and I needed the disposable protection.  I was squinting until I put the glasses on.  With them I could have played a role in the Matrix, traveled back in time and replaced Tom Cruise in Top Gun, protected the President of America, or won an international poker tournament.  Instead, I just quietly hummed Cory Hart’s 1980s hit single, Sunglasses at Night, and drove home.

Do you see what I mean?

I thought about the slight blurriness and sensitivity that the dilation caused and realized that for the most part I take for granted the ability to see.  I thought about vision and I came up with these characteristics of and things to remember about sight:

Eye Contact Is Important
Have you ever gazed into someone’s eyes before?  In that moment you feel one of the deepest connections.  It is you and them.  The rest of the world is secondary.  Some people are uncomfortable with too much eye contact, but usually because it’s with someone they don’t know very well or don’t want to know very well.  When you make eye contact, you not only connect with sight, but with soul.  I feel that through the eyes you can see who a person is and they can see who you are (which is good unless your eyes are dilated and you come off as a demon or drug addict).  Remember to give the proper amount of attention, through eye contact, to the individuals you want to be closest to. 

Right before I wrote this post I was on my bike and passed a beautiful young woman walking in the opposite direction.  We made eye contact and smiled.  About five seconds after, I turned my head back to look again, and she was doing the same.  That’s called the mutual double-take or MDT!  I know that extra moment of eye contact sent a message of interest and created a deeper connection, even if just for a moment. 

The Eyes Don’t See Everything
Spin around 360 degrees with your eyes open and there are unlimited places for your eyes to wander.  There is a lot that you can see, but a lot goes unseen.  This can either be a good thing or a bad thing.  It is bad in the sense that others may not notice some things you want them to, like writing great blog posts.  Remember to adjust for this by drawing attention to those things; wisely choose the things you want noticed and the way in which you make them seen.  Also, like the others, you won’t see everything so it is important to be as cognizant as possible. 

On the other hand, the eyes’ failure to catch things can be an advantage.  Did I spill beer all over a lady a few days into my job at a new restaurant?  Yes.  Did a lot of people in the room see it?  No.  In that particular area of the restaurant there were more people that didn’t see it than did.  People I could have sworn saw it didn’t.  Knowing this helps you to accept mistakes and move on without worrying.  If by chance a lot of people do see you make a mistake it’ll be only a matter of minutes before their mind wanders to other thoughts.

Your Eyes Connect You To The World
Sight is one of the five senses.  It is literally one of the mediums that make you realize everything around you.  The world has a lot to offer so soak it all up.  Spend some extra time looking at the sky, landscapes, sunsets, artwork, architecture, people or whatever you want.  Look from new angles for new perspectives.  Use your eyes to discover. 

Appreciate sight and use it well!

Wink, bam!